What’s Your Passion?

What’s Your Passion?

I don’t know if I want to be a nurse! There…. I have said it. I enjoy my time at the hospital and I love helping people, but, I have always been business minded. I always saw myself working in an office somewhere and a part of me misses that, especially when I drive around midtown or other business centered neighborhood in my city. The thing, when I am at the hospital, I feel like I belong there. I love interacting with the patients and with the nurses and I soak up everything that I can.

What’s my passion? Is there even such a thing? I just spend two hours on the web reading on how to find my passion, I even took a few quizzes. Sorry to report that there were no light bulbs going off, and the heavens didn’t suddenly open up singing “passion….passion….here’s your passion!!” I must say though, that would have been pretty awesome and would have probably scarred my poor dog for life.

Growing up I wanted to be a lawyer, a model, a hotel/tourism manager and a mom. Then somehow I ended up becoming a teacher… I’ll be the first to say that I can’t guide anyone, I can barely guide Freya (my dog). Now, I am in school to become a nurse, and am not sure about that either.

Lately, I find myself itching to travel, to help others in some way, and to become a better me (is that a career?). I absolutely despise routine, and I have fallen into a rut lately because, every day it is the same old thing, wake up  –>school  –> study –> nanny  –> home –> hospital for 12 hours on the weekends. This has become my life, and I know that I should be grateful to have a job and to have people who care about me, but I hate it. So much so that I made myself sick the other day and had to rush to the doctor, only for her to tell me that she thinks am depressed and have mild anxiety. I am a healthy 28-year-old; this is not what I wanted to hear.

On the other hand, what about all those loans I took out to go to school? I can’t just quit mid-way and hop in my car to travel the world. So there is that dilemma!!

As I sit here typing this, I am looking outside my window at a group of guys playing dominoes and they seem to have not a care in the world, I wonder what their passions are, maybe I should go ask them and play a hand of dominoes while I am at it.

I know that there will be challenges along the way, and maybe this is one of these challenges. Recently I have been talking to a good friend of mine {hey Alia} who feels the same way. However, we always end up back to square one.

So for all you people out there who have found their passion and are happy doing it in and out. How did you know that this was what you wanted?

 

 

26 Comments

  1. December 4, 2016 / 7:45 pm

    I just wanted to comment and say I know how hard it is to find something you are passionate about. I love travelling and would love to make a career out of it, but I don’t know how to do that yet. In June this year I quit my boring office job (it was so boring it made my depression worse) and enrolled to study animal care (pre-vet nursing) and I loved it! Now I’m stuck trying to find an animal related job until I’m back in school next year and it’s scary, but I believe I’m doing the right thing. My advice would be to keep trying new things until you find the thing you love, or it might one day just pop into your head like it did with me.

    Angela, 29

    • December 6, 2016 / 3:29 pm

      You’ll find an animal related job very soon!! I want to make traveling a career too, but it seems so saturated. Plus, I wouldn’t know where to begin.

  2. Jasmin M.
    December 5, 2016 / 4:43 am

    Hi Kathleen,

    I hear you. I am the same way. I despise routine with the passion. Since I can remember I worked, for a while, behind a desk in office, thinking that business administration was my thing, I went to school and obtained an associates degree in business administration. Needless to say it was probably THE most routine job and degree I could have ever obtained. I quickly got bored and the more I tried to convince myself this was my calling, the more irritated I got so in reality it wasn’t. All my life I have always loved helping others. So much so that others have taken my niceness for weakness and taken me for granted, and although it hurts, I’m still a sucker for helping people out. Granted I have put some walls up to prevent myself from getting hurt and being taken advantage of, but it has not stopped me from loving the satisfaction that I get when I help others…and wounds and blood don’t bother me. Needless to say I am 29 years old and I am back in school trying to obtain my nursing degree. I eventually figured out that the best way I can help others is to become a nurse, it’s a different story everyday with nursing. I know exactly what you mean about life being a routine. I have the same schedule; wake up at 4AM, get ready, wake up my kids, take them to school, then I head to school, come home, study, eat, sleep and then it starts all over again. On the weekends I work as well at the hospital and it’s becoming exhausting because I feel as if I have no days off, however I work as a phlebotomist and although my job duties does not entail helping a patient out of bed, feeding them, administering medications, I enjoy what I do because I am exposed to the environment. I pay attention to what is going on, I eavesdrop when the nurses are giving reports and try to translate what they are saying in my head, then I would mentally make a note of what my nursing diagnosis would be if this was my patient and the interventions I would take (kind of like a little practice); if the nurse needs a second assist and I just happen to be in the room I also offer my help as well (although it not part of my job description and I am pretty sure I am not suppose to, but what can I say I know what needs to be done and I love to help 🙂 that way the nurse is not waiting there for someone to show up. Anyways, my point is, I feel what you are feeling. Yes, life right now is a routine because I am trying to make something of myself. This will probably be the most routine I will ever get, but I know that once I graduate routine will no longer be an issue. One thing that I wish I had an opportunity to do when I graduate is become a traveling nurse, because not only does it give me the opportunity to travel and see the country but also I am not binded to one location until I decide to get another job. Companies pay for your room and board and from what I hear through the grape vines the pay is ridiculous (meaning really good money). I, unfortunately, can’t have a job like a traveling nurse for the sake of stability for my son. However, If you love to help people and you are passionate about having a nursing career, keep pushing through, maybe that is a job you can apply for later on. I don’t know what year you are in but I am pretty sure you are not just starting like I am. Nursing school is stressful and although lots of people say that, you really don’t realize it until you become nursing student yourself. There IS no time for breathing, no time for rest, no time for binge watching on Netflix, and that is what’s getting me. I also suffer from depression and anxiety and not being able to have quiet time for myself when I want it gives me anxiety but I have to keep at it. Knowing that I will be done in two years in a half seems like a very long time, but the bottom line is, I will be done and once that’s over, I can work in the field that has been my calling since forever. Only then I will have the money to travel the world if I want to while giving my son a better life and also being able to pay my loans; AND if I choose to put on a little business I can do that as well as long as I plan accordingly (but me personally the most business I want to get is having my own medical office…eventually). Maybe you just need to take a couple days of breathing time and readjust your routine life for even just a week by taking a weekend off, or one day on the weekend off, just to list one example. I hope this helps. 🙂

    • December 6, 2016 / 3:27 pm

      Thank you for your little note. I really appreciate it! How are you liking it? I love working in the hospital!! Good luck!

  3. December 5, 2016 / 12:34 pm

    I can relate to the rut dilemma! Back in 2014 I thought I was going to sail around the world and have my grand life adventure. Two and a half years of reality later, I am beginning to question my entire existence! It happens to the best of us apparently. I wish you luck on finding your purpose on your life journey!

    • December 6, 2016 / 3:13 pm

      So what do you do now?!! Did you travel the world any?

      • December 6, 2016 / 3:54 pm

        For now I just work and fail at saving for this adventure .Challenging! I still want to travel the world and be the first Black American woman to do so… I just have to figure out how to get from where I am now to where I want to be. Either the first option finally pans out or I find a new one. Hopefully, it will all work out. 🙂

      • December 6, 2016 / 3:55 pm

        That should have said I still want to SAIL the world and be the first Black American woman to do so. (typing too fast!)

  4. December 5, 2016 / 12:41 pm

    I love this post. At 46 I am still trying to figure it out but I find when we get quiet a lot can reveal itself to us. Good luck on your journey:) #bloggingboost

    • December 6, 2016 / 3:12 pm

      I think I am going to start meditation! Maybe that will help.

  5. December 5, 2016 / 12:57 pm

    You are not the only one. And you are not too far from my age. I, too, am not sure what it is I want to do with my life. I have been asking myself that question for the last 7 years. I have some passions but no idea how to turn it into an occupation or produce streams of income. Only blogging is the most obvious option because I enjoy writing and find blogging intriguing thus far.

    • December 6, 2016 / 3:11 pm

      That is my dilemma, I want to travel, but how can I turn that into income.

  6. December 5, 2016 / 1:03 pm

    Honestly I’m sort of in the same position at the moment. Situation wise I’m a bit different because I’ve just recently graduated, but I completely understand where you’re coming from. I was lucky enough to have family members who put me through school so I do not have loans, but it holds the same weight as you with your student loans. They spent the money to put me through College and here I am sitting around unsure if that’s actually what I’ll be doing with the rest of my life (it doesn’t help that it’s a highly competitive field and most employers require you to have a degree which I do not have)

    I completely understand your dilemma and have also considered running off on a big trip to somewhere completely new in search of myself. The path to self-discovery is weird, windy one and I’m still nowhere near finding out what my passion is, who I am or even what I want to do with my life. But as we all have life commitments it’s hard to make time to ask those questions and explore that. I’m starting off small.

    I’ve started taking some time for myself. It doesn’t have to be a long amount of time just a little bit of time once a day or once every couple days. And I just explore. I try something new. I watch Youtube videos about finding passion and sometimes I just let my mind wander going over the possibilities. It’s not easy sometimes and I find it really frustrating not knowing. For lack of a better way to put it I feel very very lost. But lately as I’ve been taking that time for myself I’ve found that I can go about my regular routine feeling a bit lighter.

    So my advice, as just a little nobody who can’t yet confidently say who she is, take some time out of your schedule to explore hobbies and new things that you may not have considered before. Don’t make any rash decisions while you’re in this kind of rut because I find that it most usually leads to regrets. Start out small before you go jumping into quitting your job and jumping in your car to find yourself. And don’t make excuses for not making time for yourself to do such things because that is self-care and self-care is a priority a necessity not a luxury.

    I hope that this helps a little!

    xx

    • December 6, 2016 / 3:09 pm

      Sarah, thank your for writing this. I needed to read this. I think I do need to take some time off for self care,a ndn to figure out what I want to do with my life.
      What will you do? Will you find a job in your degree field?

      • December 6, 2016 / 3:47 pm

        Sometimes we all just need a little reminder that we’re not alone and a bit of insight into how others are dealing with it <3

        What will I do? Persevere I suppose. I want to be a full time writer in the future, but I studied computer technology. I'll probably end up freelancing for a while to create a portfolio to show in place of my getting the degree that most companies would want. I doubt I'll go back for a degree in Computer Science. My boyfriend is going to be starting that next Fall and from what he's told me about the courses he'll be taking I want no part of it haha.

        As I said I'm still wandering around trying to figure things out, trying a whole bunch of different things (currently dabbling in accounting/bookkeeping because I minored in it), but my dream is definitely to be a writer.

        oops sorry I think I gave you my whole life story there ^^; haha. To wrap up this lengthy reply I strongly believe that taking some time for your self is probably one of the best things you can do at this point. But it'd be best to do it without derailing all the things you have going on in your life right now. Balance is key!

        xx

  7. December 5, 2016 / 1:20 pm

    Following your passion is so important, but so is paying the bills. The struggle is real!

    • December 5, 2016 / 10:10 pm

      Linda…Exactly!!!

  8. December 5, 2016 / 2:11 pm

    My mind changes all the time what I really want to do in life. As a kid I wanted to be a dancer on Broadway and marry a doctor (because I heard dancers don’t make lots of money :)). Then I went to nursing school, after culinary school, decided didn’t want to be a chef but finished it anyway. Then decided I liked baking so went to baking school to get my certification. Once I was done with that I found baking quite boring so decided to study hospitality management so I can have my own hotel. Got Bachelors on that and worked in hotels for over 10 years. Started hating it after the first 2 years. Now I’m doing holistic health coaching and really passionate about all wellness related. Getting also my yoga teacher training next year. I think I’ve found my purpose. Finally, at age 36 🙂

    • December 5, 2016 / 10:04 pm

      Kat, wow, you’ve certainly been on a journey!! Okay, now I don’t feel to hopeless about not being able to find my passion yet. I hope it will come soon.

      PS: Your captcha won’t let me comment on your blog.

  9. December 5, 2016 / 2:37 pm

    I really feel this article. My everyday struggle! now I just blog and somehow writing comes easily. I am beginning to think that is my passion?

    xo

    • December 5, 2016 / 9:59 pm

      I used to love writing, and then life got in the way. However, I am slowly getting back to it now. I hope you stick to it.

  10. December 5, 2016 / 8:11 pm

    Hey Kathleen,
    Some times I think we go our whole lives not truly know what we want to be when we grow up. My whole childhood all I ever wanted to be was a teacher. I had a huge chalk board and would line my dolls and stuffed animals up and teach them. ha ha I did start pursuing that career when I got into high school but found out quickly it wasn’t for me; only because I just wanted to teach, I didn’t want to do all the admin stuff that came along with it. I have gone taken many journey’s in my life and I think I have finally found my passion-coaching. I guess you could say I have come full circle; coaching is kind of teaching, right!? I do know life is short and you have to follow your dreams. Have you ever tried meditation? Meditation can help to give you the answers you seek. If you’d like to talk further you can reach out to me on Facebook at Donna Wildman McMahon.

    • December 5, 2016 / 9:58 pm

      Surprisingly enough, I have a degree in education, but quickly found out that it was not for me! I have not tried meditation, my mind always wonders when I try, so I have given up on that.

  11. December 5, 2016 / 8:58 pm

    I recently followed my passion for fashion (ha ha – that rhymed) this year with launching my fashion blog! It was a creative desire that needed to be fulfilled. I am having so much fun and being stretched in so many ways — getting me outside of my security blanket! Traveling sounds like a wonderful idea! But, at this stage of life (three young kids at home) I know there will be a right season for it! But, I think the most important part to feeling alive is to always see life “curiously” and be open to learning no matter what stage you are in – in life! Thanks for the inspiring post!
    xo Debbie

    • December 5, 2016 / 9:54 pm

      I laughed out loud at your first line. Thank you for your comment. I am so excited for you and your new found passion :). That’s what I am looking for, something that will leave me fulfilled.

  12. December 13, 2016 / 9:03 pm

    My best friend pretty much took you are taking (With the nursing school). Heck to be honest most of my friends and myself aren’t where we had originally planned to be. I wanted to be a lawyer, a mom, the pink power ranger and an actress. Now I’m a copywriter/digital marketer and blogger. I just take it as experience and life lessons. Enjoy the ride my friend! You will get where you are supposed to be.

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